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Kyrre's Journal - Dabbling in Writing Yearning to Write (7 entries back)

Thursday, September 8th, 2011

Some relief

Surprisingly, Family Time Has Grown

The study doesn't count the time "around children" but the time spent directly involved in the child's care like taking them to school, helping with homework, bathing them, playing with.

Before 1995, mothers spent an average of about 12 hours a week attending to the needs of their children. By 2007, that number had risen to 21.2 hours a week for college-educated women and 15.9 hours for those with less education.

Family researchers say the news should offer relief to guilt-stricken working parents.

..like myself. It really does. Between full-time job and household I often feel I am giving the kids not enough of my time. But interacting with them when I am totally stressed out is a recipe for desaster. Quality time before quantity.


(17:13, 08.09.11 | write a few words [2])

Sunday, January 9th, 2011

A start

So today was my first day at the gym. I had to crack the whip to get both kids moving because they were "It's weekend. We wanna play at home." But we get there on time and they were even well-behaved in day-care and were obviously content.

So, first time. After warm-up my fitness coach Kim and I went through the first circuit together working out my exercise plan. Most of the exercise machines are familiar but they are looking more modern than, oh, six or seven years ago. We put emphasis on my back and arms because I need more upper body strength rather badly. I'm pleased that the circuit includes free weight exercises. I repeated the circuit twice and finished with the cool-down and also an endorphin rush. I can hardly describe this sense of elation, especially because this emotion has been absent for so long.

I expect to have sore muscles tomorrow and actually excited to have this proof of a good workout. I'm looking forward to the next training on Thursday and raising the weights of the arm exercises.
(20:50, 09.01.11 | write a few words [2])

Tuesday, January 4th, 2011

Today I signed up for a trial month starting next Sunday at a local gym with daycare. Hopefully the kids will cooperate. Yay, for doing a step in keeping my resolutions.

Work was okay and relatively quiet. My boss broke a leg during the Christmas holidays *ouch* and is now keeping in touch via laptop. I foresee a intense week to reach the next milestone on time. Just well that I am well rested. *g*
(20:42, 04.01.11 | write a few words )

current mood: cheerful

Saturday, January 1st, 2011

A glance back and a look forward

So 2010 wasn't that bad all in all. But is has been stressful and exhausting.

Read more...Collapse )

That said, what do I want from 2011? The usual.

There are three main points:

I need to take better care of myself. Time for myself is always rare but I will make time for fitness. Improving health, eating, sport and stress reduction are all parts of the same goal.

I also have to look for a better flat. Our current living situation is less than optimal for the kids. Additionally, it is only a year and half until kid#1 enters school and by then he should have made friends with whom he will visit school together.

And third, I am considering refractive surgery. I hate wearing glasses and contact lenses proved to be problematic while looking hours at a monitor. So far I have felt held back by the concerns my family and friends have. I need to research the facts and form an opinion of my own.
(16:11, 01.01.11 | write a few words )

Happy New Year, everyone!

I will go to bed now. *g*
(0:18, 01.01.11 | write a few words )

Saturday, December 25th, 2010

Merry Christmas!

I wish everyone peaceful Christmas holidays.

***

So, this is Christmas. My brother left early in the morning for his second attempt to catch his flight to his ship. The first one at the start of the week was derailed by the snow and Paris cancelling a lot of flights. It was bad luck for him but good luck for the kids who were able to spend a few days with their uncle.

They especially enjoyed it yesterday while we received our presents at Christmas Eve as it is customary for us. We had the kid#1 extensive wishlist pared down to one - big - present to keep him at about the same level with kid#2. He and my uncle spent the whole evening assembling the knight's castle. Kid#1 is still jealousy guarding it and keeping his little brother away. Hopefully he will notice in a day or two that playing together is a lot more fun.

Both of them were terrible exited yesterday and didn't slow down at all the whole day. That included several hours of sledding and helping grandpa to shovel snow. It is a wonder that kid#1 woke up at his customary time. Kid#2 slept until two hours longer.

Unlike them I felt down for no particular reason. I guess I'm not recovered yet from the work-related stress of the last months and I also had exhausted myself pulling the sled with the kids through the deep snow. I really am out of shape and I'm feeling the muscles in my lower back since then.

I hope for a quiet and relaxing day.
(13:00, 25.12.10 | write a few words )

Saturday, August 28th, 2010

To get the most out of three vacation days and a weekend I am currently at my parents' and have left the kids to them, mostly. I myself holed up in my brother's rooms in the basement and since Thursday I haven't much done but sleeping, reading and surfing the 'net. And only now I am starting to feel like myself again.

Maybe it is so, maybe I need several days to even been able to relax but it has made me rather frustrated. It seems I haven't had any creative thing done this year outside of work and now, when I have some free time, I am lazy.

But frankly, I know that I am tethering at the brink of a burnout. So far I have about nine or ten vacation days left for this year. Some I need to take when the kids' kindergarten closes a few days in November and the rest is for Christmas and new Year. So I wonder if it will be enough.

I have stopped caring, if I will have a job after my temporary employment is running out. Caring about that resulted in sleepless nights and feeling insecure. Feeling insecure had affected my behaviour and performance at work adversely. So I stopped. I have mentioned that my motivation was shot to hell by the way they conducted last personal interview, so I am feeling very little attachment to the company right now. That's sad.

But I still care about my work, to produce high quality on time. I gain satisfaction from that. That must be enough and possible it's the way to convince them of my worth. My perspective has narrowed down to that and keeping me and my family well and healthy.

It isn't easy on the kids either and I hate it that I am short and easily angered when I am exhausted. I strife for more patience. I wished I had more energy. I need to learn to ask more often for help from my friends. My parents help where they can but they aren't the youngest anymore and they have their own troubles. For example with their house and its need for repairs.

Still, I think am at the turning point between exhausted morosity and cautious optimism. I hope that the two remaining days will give me the strength to master the next few months until the next, short vacation.
(20:47, 28.08.10 | write a few words [2])
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