As things so go, the last week at work meant much to do since one client wanted something finished still this year (but couldn't come up with all of the necessary information to do so) and another did send me data at the last possible moment. And still another client lost it website because someone seemed to have hacked into his ftp account and deleted it. Of course, I had to restore it and change all passwords. *sigh*
Thursday afternoon I finally managed to my Christmas shopping. I have something for everyone from my family and my friends except my mother. (Finding something for Mum is always hard. I still have a few days, I hope I come up with some idea.) At this opportunity I couldn't resist the temptation and got myself Spellforce. I usually have no time to play. I have several games on my harddisk I have never finished and it doesn't seem like that I will ever finish them. And I get me a new one. *shakes head* Spellforce is hard on the hardware of my two-years-and-a-half-old pc and I had to update drivers and tweak the system seriously to make it run smoothly. But the mix of roleplaying game and strategy is also seriously addicting. I have already wasted long hours with it. *g* But I left it at home when yesterday I came to my parents to stay for X-Mas. The computer I have here is older (PII-333), still good enough for going online and writing but totally outclassed regarding modern pc games.
So I should be able to catch up with my journaling and - dare I hope - find the time and mood to work further on my conlang and maybe even write some fiction.
This year was bad so far in that aspect. The job was challenging and I have added a lot of knowledge, skills and experience, but besides becoming seriously sick from stress I didn't write anything. Except journaling. I tried to keep that up, but I have shifted to more private than public posts and I hardly comment anymore even if I do read my friends list.
I was so (and still am) envious of everyone who took up the NaNoWriMo challenge. I have inwardly cheered on everyone for their wordcounts and admire those who made the 50K. And feel depressed beyond measure. It is that moment where I have to ask myself if I should give up on writing. I don't seem to do it at all, and all I seem to feel is frustration and a kind of silent despair.
Ugh. I should finish the post before I drown in self-pity again.