So it went like this:
Me, ranting: "I want to do the short story dare but I can't if you don't budge and let me work. You know damn well that I can't think straight when you look over my shoulder. You are too distracting."
"Thank you." Calm, with this small, amused smile that drives me up the walls.
"Rhade..." Plaintive wail.
"You know Nietzschean, how they think." Patiently. "We are are vain, we are self-serving, we get what we want. One way or another."
"So you pester me until I write these bunnies." I look at the dark, sleek bunnies that crowd around the desk. I have the distinct impression there are one or two more of them since the last time I counted. Then I poke the grey, limp fur ball before me. No reaction. Almost dead. The faint, barely visible motion of breathing is my only remaining hope.
"This is one way," he agrees and continues to pet the purring, blond bunny that lays snuggled in the crook of his arm. "Certainly I won't be moved by screaming or the pathetic state of your original fic bunny." He glances with visible disdain at the poor thing on the desk.
"It was so promising until you and your hell-spawned bunnies had to take over..." I stop and consider his words. "What is the other way?"
"A bargain to our mutual benefit."
"Mutual benefit," I repeat sceptically. "It sounds too good to be true."
"Trust me," he replies. "You want to hear me out."
He is right, I am desperate. He waits for my nod, smirks and lays out the basics.
"You want your OC bunny revived and I want you to write Rhade fan fiction. So I will help you to get your short story dare done and you will pay for my efforts with writing the Andromeda plot bunnies. Deal?"
I stare at him, still unconvinced.
"How can you help me?"
He smiles back, confident. "darthneko and many others have already shown you how. I will shift to an OC and whip your bunny in shape."